When you tell a young child “don’t jump on the bed,” the last thing he hears is “…jump on the bed.” The internal message can get stuck, like a broken record, “jump on the bed, jump on the bed, jump on the bed.” Wording things in the positive not only helps you and your child keep a positive mindset, it also is easier for young children to understand what exactly what it is that you want them to do. The concept of negation (adding not, no, do not, don’t, stop) is generally too difficult for young children to understand and follow through. Also, the last thing your young child will hear is the desired behavioral expectations. Here are a few suggestions for making sure your young child understands what you are communicating:
| Instead of saying… | Try saying… |
| Don’t run! | Use your walking feet.Come, walk with me.
Come, hold my hand. |
| Stop playing in the water! | Wash your hands.
Turn the water off when you are done washing. |
| No hitting! | Hands are for playing/eating/etc.Tell Billy that you want a turn (you are not done/he can have the next turn/etc). |
| Stop whining! | Use your talking voice.Use your big boy/girl voice.
Tell me in a calm voice. |
| Don’t color on the wall! | Markers/crayons/paints are for paper.Color/paint on the paper. |
Honoring the Hard Work of Child's Play 